This is the last post for this blog, all entries are in the process of being moved as we have moved to our new location. Our new site is ChopperBoy's Wild Ride.

I shall stand neither impatiently,
nor timidly and knock at your door
i shall knock assuredly
on the heavy dark paneling
i shall not stand pleadingly to come in
nor shall i silently demand you to follow me out
i shall offer you my words
requesting permission to stay
at your mercy
for a night out of the cold
i shall neither smile as your demons kiss me
nor shall i build walls to keep them out
and you shall have a permanant invitation
to enter the room in which i stay, for it is yours
i shall honor you as i would my king
for every tear you shed on my behalf
i shall give you diamonds
and for every diamond you give me
i shall shed a tear

SubSara

You can kiss me on my voluptuously rubicund cheeks
all right; but only if your kiss had the power to
wonderfully transcend over every other conceivable
kiss drifting ominously towards my direction; for
times beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my seductively tantalizing nape all
right; but only if your kiss had the tenacity to
miraculously overpower every other conceivable kiss
drifting atrociously towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my rhapsodically vivacious hair all
right; but only if your kiss had the temerity to
supremely outshadow every other conceivable kiss
drifting egregiously towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my enthrallingly ebullient lips all
right; but only if your kiss had the charisma to
irrefutably nullify every other conceivable kiss
drifting vindictively towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my bountifully emollient palms all
right; but only if your kiss had the superiority to
timelessly conquer every other conceivable kiss
drifting baselessly towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my surreally royal forehead all
right; but only if your kiss had the magic to
unbelievably decimate every other conceivable kiss
drifting truculently towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my daintily embellished feet all
right; but only if your kiss had the magnetism to
insuperably supercede every other conceivable kiss
drifting salaciously towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my robustly titillating belly all
right; but only if your kiss had the caress to
astronomically triumph over every other conceivable
kiss drifting parasitically towards my direction; for
times beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my uncontrollably trembling skin
all right; but only if your kiss had the color to
wholesomely camouflage every other conceivable kiss
drifting beguilingly towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my enigmatically arcane palms all
right; but only if your kiss had the fortitude to
entirely sideline every other conceivable kiss
drifting hedonistically towards my direction; for
times beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my mellifluously dangling earlobes
all right; but only if your kiss had the ardor to
poignantly overrule every other conceivable kiss
drifting flagrantly towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my unfathomably scented fingers all
right; but only if your kiss had the righteousness to
unsurpassably defeat every other conceivable kiss
drifting hideously towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my mischievously cavorting shadow
all right; but only if your kiss had the intensity to
unnervingly destroy every other conceivable kiss
drifting raunchily towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my aristocratically iridescent
shoulders all right; but only if your kiss had the
compassion to circumscribe every other conceivable
kiss drifting bizarrely towards my direction; for
times beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my sensuously inebriating eyes all
right; but only if your kiss had the brilliance to
unprecedentedly blaze over every other conceivable
kiss drifting acrimoniously towards my direction; for
times beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my artistically sculptured chin all
right; but only if your kiss had the guts to
indomitably rule over every other conceivable kiss
drifting heinously towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

You can kiss me on my inimitably graceful spine all
right; but only if your kiss had the heavenliness to
eternally outclass every other conceivable kiss
drifting malevolently towards my direction; for times
beyond an infinite more lifetimes,

And you can kiss me on my immortally throbbing heart
all right; but only if your kiss had the kinsmanship
to forever subjugate and subdue every other
conceivable kiss drifting venomously towards my
direction; for times beyond an infinite more
lifetimes…

MistressDana

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It can also be hard to learn to bottom, if what you're used to is topping. Giving up control, surrendering, can be a difficult thing, when you're used to holding the reins in your hands. If you find yourself manipulating your top, trying to coerce them into giving you what you want, then you're what is called a "pushy bottom"--a bottom who is not really submitting, but just trying to turn the situation around to the way they want it to go.

Some tops get off on bottoms who are defiant or subtly disobedient, and use it as an excuse to punish; but for other tops, especially inexperienced ones, it can be anything but fun. Making your top feel like they don't know what they're doing is no fun for either of you; I know, I've been there, as the pushy bottom. The solution? The next time you play, tell yourself that you are the top's property, that their will is yours, and that your deepest desire is to please them. Before, if they did something you didn't like, you might have suggested they try it another way; now, they are doing exactly what they want to be doing, and you are grateful they're doing it. Let go of your urges to be in control; surrender to them, and let them have their way with you. I guarantee you will have a lot more fun than when you were trying to top from the bottom--I know I did!

If you are still not quite getting what you want, as a bottom, this solution may not last very long; you will probably want to talk to your top about what your needs and desires are, and about how you can both have fun getting to them. But the time to negotiate about what your bottom fantasies are, and how you might want to manifest them, is not necessarily while you're in the middle of a scene which you've pre-negotiated. Don't get into the "Oh, yes, Mistress, anything you want--um, uh, Mistress, you're not quite doing it right!" trap. (Can you tell I speak from experience here?)

Relax, and respond. Quite often a top will enjoy topping you because of your reactions--the way you wriggle, and squirm, and cry out. If you clench every muscle and strive to endure without giving _any_ sign that you're feeling anything, your top may get frustrated with the lack of feedback. Let yourself feel. And don't hold your breath! Or rather, don't forget to breathe. (If, of course, you _negotiated_ a "stoic endurance" scene, that's different. But don't feel you _have_ to act that way. I like it when my bottoms struggle--they have a safeword if they need it....)

Of course, nothing is cut-and-dried; just because you're on the bottom doesn't mean you're a puppet. But there is a big difference between being open and communicative, and trying to force things in your preferred direction. A good bottom is one who is enthusiastic, devoted to their top's pleasure, willing to surrender to their top's will, open about their own desires (in a respectful manner, of course), and happy to be bottoming.

There's a piece of common wisdom that's been around the scene for a long time, which is: the best tops are those who started at the bottom. I believe it's true. If you have been there, felt the bite of the whip, struggled to get free as you were brought slowly and teasingly to orgasm, tranced out as the sensation from the clothespins washed over and through you... then you will be much better able to guide someone else through that intensely magical space as a top, because you will literally have been there. Plus, starting as a bottom means you'll pick up a lot of hands-on (if you will) experience! (And as with any generalized statement about SM, there are plenty of people whose mileage varies; bottoms who've never topped and never want to, or tops who've never gone under and are still damn good. But even such tops often experiment with sensations on themselves before trying them with their bottoms.)

SubSara

When first getting into the scene, it can often be somewhat intimidating to try playing with SM, especially if neither of you have done it before. Here's this wonderful person, who wants you to dominate them. You tie them up, and they're helpless, wriggling with anticipation and lust... and now what do you do?

Play with them! There are all kinds of common objects that produce intense and enjoyable sensations when applied to a helpless lover. Combs for dragging across the skin, feathers for tickling a frantic foot, clothespins (use a couple or use many in artistic rows--these can be as intense as you want to make them!), ice cubes, chocolate syrup, strawberries (ever see 9 1/2 Weeks?), leather belts for slapping or spanking, hairbrushes for scuffing or beating, and of course your own fingers, mouth, genitals, and everything else. Enjoy taking your time with your willing victim; drive them to distraction, then bring them to the edge of ecstasy, then back off and make them beg for more!

Remember, you can set the mood as you wish. You can be playful, amused at your own ineptitude even while your bottom is moaning with desire. You can be stern and commanding, sympathetic but nasty, jolly yet sadistic--anything you please. As long as you focus your attention on your bottom, your bottom will have a great time! Relax, go with the flow, and if you stop enjoying it, call safeword--tops can use safewords too.

Of course, there's no need to feel like you need to put all your attention into pleasing your bottom; what's a good slave for if not for pleasing their master? I've several times played with my girlfriend and used her for my own selfish pleasure, giving little attention to hers--and she loved it! But there is no doubt that with pleasure it is as good to give as to receive. Just remember, communicate, be sensitive to what your bottom is feeling, and you'll have no problem.

The one thing that is quite important to remember as a top is that you are responsible for your bottom. As you begin playing with SM, you may well be placing your bottom in situations in which he or she is physically helpless and/or emotionally vulnerable. It is important that you recognize they are placing a great deal of trust in you, and in your ability to handle any situations that may come up. If you're in the middle of a hot scene, and suddenly someone unexpectedly bangs on the door, you may both be startled and shocked--but your bottom will be immediately looking to you for protection. If something happens that you didn't expect, take care of your bottom _first_--reassure them that you're not going to let anything happen to them, and then deal with the problem calmly and sensitively.

And don't be limited by preconceptions of what you "ought" to be doing, or worries about how you're not topping "correctly". If you start to feel pressured or insecure, take a step back, and ask yourself what _you_ want out of the scene. Sometimes, when I've been bottoming for my girlfriend, she hasn't been in the mood to play with me sexually--so she made me her slave and commanded me to... bathe her and wash her! This was lots of relaxed fun for both of us, and it let her unwind enough to keep playing the way _she_ wanted to play. Be honest, not only with your bottom, but with yourself. And if you are in the middle of a scene, and suddenly your honesty says "I don't want to be doing this" or "I don't know what my partner wants, or even what I want," then by all means stop the scene--gracefully if possible. Better that than for the scene to drag on until both of you are sick of it.

If you still don't have any ideas, and if your bottom is really hot to trot, you can always start playing with your bottom and getting them excited in whatever way you know how, and demand that they tell you a fantasy of theirs, or you'll stop. Talking dirty to each other--trading hot fantasies, knowing that you can make then happen if you want to--is the best way I know of getting ideas for scenes. This actually goes for ALL sexual play, whether it involves SM or not!

Taken from: Unrealities.com

This is merely a suggested attitude for the Beggining TOP, it does not guarantee immediate or any success at all it is just a collected expierience from those asked put into words. It was borrowed from another website focused on the BDSM/Bondage lifestyle.